As some writer said I also have the believe that the author should hold the pain of carrying a subject before producing as a mother holds the pain before giving birth to her child. And if she didn’t carry that pain the creation will not have that value and as for the same reason I didn’t gave an attempt to write before I have enough pain to deliver one.
Two months of vacation make me lazy that at 10 o clock I was already in bed. I had a lot to do for the next day but helpless, my brain and body is so weak. Heavy rain and cold is disturbing me too. There was a day when I used to sit near the half open window pain listening to the unknown symphony of rain and thunder. But these days I am not getting enough interest at these dramas of nature. At times my heart cries how i could change such away and realise the loss of innocence running behind the world in order to get some goals in life.
So as I said before I went to bed at 10 o clock and didn’t take long time to go to the deep sleep. Rain outside acts as a catalyst and I wrapped under my blanket holding my pillow tight. Goddess of dream were weaving a dream for me suddenly my cell rang high and the threads of dream broken in between and opened my eye with a regret. It was an unknown number so I pushed red button with an anger to disturb my dream. As I was about to go back to dream phone ranged again. I looked at the phone confusingly then answered with laziness at its peak. The voice from other end was familiar and my anger turned into a surprise.
Our conversation went long ,Heavy rain outside were not interested to enquire what is happening inside and now friend at other end left me by saying a good night but it was not a good night at all my dreams is now changed to thoughts all about

LOVE, LIFE AND DEADTH...
What a rare combination. Three different aspects but related to each other in a mystic way common people failed to understand.
Love is a wonderful feeling. Everyone will have a lot to describe about love. Even though the feeling of love experienced by person to person differs.
Love can lead to life and death when living for loved ones everyone will be proud to do so and everyone will be even happy to die with loved ones. And so what about dying for loved ones. But when the situation changes and dying for someone who even don’t know about the person’s love for him/her in which category I can tag that?

A LETTER TO DELHI.....

Dear friend,
I know I don’t need an introduction part to write to you. From the day you waved me before packing to Delhi near that old tree in our campus, my mind is still there near the fading picture of the guitar with a music that broken in-between
Far away sitting in the capital city beautifully decorated to invite the foreigners for common wealth game you will be also missing me in the same intensity as I do...
Even though this five months are going so fast the days away from you is making me count. Went to the closing ceremony of confluence where juniors were enjoying their arts and compete with the seniors to make their position the final years were in a sorrow stage to leave their friends and the lovely campus after few months, but my thoughts went in a different direction when our classmates were sharing their experience of training I really missed you and sat silently in one corner.
Those empty steps in the gallery and lonely street of campus are calling us. When our batch mates are eagerly packing their bag in a rush to fill it with memories my mind was full of question about how I am going to live that one year without that stupid’s always ready to tease me.
When started to write my mind was overflowing with matters to discuss with you and sitting in front waves of memories fades in the darkness of outside. Now who has the time to spend for writing a letter which will reach so late? Mixed in a bundle mingled with other letters having mixed feelings some of happiness and some of sorrows eagerly waiting to reach their destiny with no interest to know what is inside others my letter for you travel the long way from Kerala to Delhi just to see the smile in your face seeing my letter.
A letter to my best friend just to inform you that I am missing you.......

Your loving friend
Asha Sreenivas

Destiny...

About 20 days before I was unaware about the word destiny or I just did not know what it really means. And now I am sitting in the commercial capital city of Kerala about 100 km far from my home land in an unknown place. Surrounded by unknown ones and searching the meaning of the world destiny.
At beginning everything was not in rhythm. Surroundings were dark and I looked at each corner with an anxiety of a new born child to study how peoples behave in a big city like this. Day by day darkness of my fear was broken by the light of smiles of regular ones.
Even after all these I Love the serenity of village more than the rush of city, starvation of poor ones than the luxury of the rich. Smile in the face of an unknown child than the laugh in the surroundings. And my most bad character of being silent in the crowd overleap without my permission.
Some strange things around me is making me aware
Yes I am grown up now....
I can feel the changes happening inside...
Surroundings are teaching me a lot...
Story of unawareness.....
A month before or two- three months actually I am not remembering the time in a depressed stage I crossed all imaginary levels of my mind travelling from one corner to another corner searching for a destiny to be normal.
But being normal is not a child game
Only a good actor can always have a smile in their face, bitter but true....
When I packed my luggage my dream was to reach the land of love to the capital of India but my destiny take me to Cochin with or without my permission.
Destiny has its own decision over everyone; it will rule the life without our permission but hoping that everything happens for a good reason.....

It was raining out and she loves to listen to rain. Observing the magic of raindrop falling into the windowpane and splitting into pieces she forgets the fact that there was nothing left for dinner to cook.

Mother’s angry call makes her awake from her dream. Raining was too heavy that anyone will have a small regret to make dirty. It made her lazy. With the basket in one hand and umbrella in the other she slowly stepped down to the crowded street. Her dress was swinging with the stormy wind and she walked carefully in the busy street that she should not disturb anyone. Street children were running in between carelessly. Rain didn’t give importance to all these drama; it falls heavily as if it can’t fall tomorrow.
Time went away, the street began to empty .Market was almost deserted and shop keepers were packing things blaming the unexpected rain. She filled her basket and return to home.

Now a heavy storm hit a weak branch of tree near the street and it fall with a heavy sound blocking her way to home, now she had to walk a way around faster to reach home. The time was running and the surroundings began to dark. She began to curse the rain.
Heavy wind in the opposite direction makes her travel difficult. Basket in one hand, umbrella in the other ant the swinging heavy dress everything not in rhythm makes her sad. Suddenly a heavy wind blow to her and she lost hold with the umbrella and it fly as if it has to escape from the heavy rain.

In the heavy rain she ran behind the umbrella without noticing anything and at the moment she got the umbrella back she hits someone so hardly that she along with her umbrella and basket fall over him.

Street was empty; surroundings were dark, only four eyes looking each other.

The handsome gentleman rise and helped her to rise along with the umbrella and basket. He smiled at her and occasion makes her shy for her fault.

With a sudden word of apologize she walked away from that gentleman.

Walking through the empty street all her taught were about him.

Entering house she smiled at herself thinking about all that happened.

to my best friend.....

In this middle of March it is very hot here. Yes indeed it’s the time of hot summer but the sun is little brighter and hot.
Everyone must give little more importance to global warming and ozone depletion....
Sorry I am not going to write about that any way...
After a long time today after a short noon sleep i got opportunity to hear the roaring sound of thunder.... the signal of a rain for which everyone was dreaming make me jump from my sleep and ran outside.
Trees were dancing in joy and a sweet breeze is spreading the news that rain is near..... I enjoyed all these dramas of nature standing alone in the balcony. Alone in the sense that, two days before my friend was with me.


More than a friend she is like my own sister, the one who touched my heart and understand what i need by just looking into my eyes. She cared me like a elder sister always a shoulder to sleep and a sweet melody in my life.

Some true relationship will surely take time to make a bond and once the perfect bond has made it is impossible to separate.

To loss is to learn

For last several days, lots of topics were waving inside my small heart and I did'nt get enough time to write it down but if I fail to write,it will be a great loss.so iam taking back my notepad and pen

"To loss is to learn"

some days before I was quite busy with my works......everyone in our class were rushing with their final presentation of fifth semister. Two-three days of continuous sleepless night make everyone in a blank state that no one were interested to know what is happening in the surrounding.A strange rain was trying to compose a beautiful melody near my window pane and I didn't get enough time to listen to that painful melody .After that hilarious work I was laying down without getting a good sleep and I remembered about my life before 2-3 years. A lot of time to spent for anyone. To dance in rain.......to listen to the symphony of rain and watch the sky.....to chat with the breeze........

now days I realise the fact that I am no more a child ,I have my reponsibilities and work......

Yes Iam no longer a child with inborn innocence.

were the innocence gone????

once escaped from childhood we will lose so many things close to heart and one of the important of all is the innocence.the exposure to the dark world outside in the thirst of finding the secrets in every move we will never realise the value of things we are leaving behind in order to grab new things. And once we realised it we will wish to get another chance to be a child once again,who is not bothered about the complications of life and will wish to run behind the butterflies with no pains inside.

Now days I realise the fact that innocence never grow with us.....but will fade to unknown fantasy world ment only for children.

Time goes on........

No way to get a second chance.......

So never forget to live the life.........

To grow is to understand the dept of loss,to enjoy the value of gain everything with a bit of selfishness and without a pinch of innocence.

Dedicated to my dear friend RINU DEVDAS who left us and went near god on 21 Nov 2009.He was with me in my sorrows and happiness as a shoulder to cry and a good friend to fight always.It was after his loss i became conscious that I am no more a child.His memories will always be rite inside my heart.....

In memory of my dear friend who taught me the greatest lesson

"TO LOSS IS TO LEARN"

DREAM A MYSTERY......

Again I am starting to dream ……
Don’t know how long it will stay……


I Lay on my bed lazily…….
There was nothing left to do or after a long run I just need a break.
Looking to the sky through window besides I lay silently…
My eyes where too tired. It slowly makes the scenery fade. I tried to keep it open but it forcefully made to close as if need a deep sleep.

Free from all……
The cruel of the world…..
The innocence of children….
And from all I need a perfect restfulness…

The brain began to work mysteriously taking the soul into a dream world.
Leaving the body soul began to wander from place to place without imprinting anything it see so that it will be a mystery when I open my eyes next morning.

It wanders…..in search of peace…..in search of love……..in search of compassion……..
But didn’t get any of this anywhere and came back disappointed.

The morning alarm rang with out any mercy.
I wake up with a slight laziness….

How fast the time moves….
I am only getting the picture of my eyes closing make the scenery fade remaining portion just rest as a mystery……..